How to Win Your Teen’s Heart Back?
Many parents feel that their teenage children have a world of their own.
Rarely communicate with parents.
The child only makes short sentences of conversation.
That’s just related to food or financial needs.
Q: Actually, what is going on?
A: What needs to be understood is that these attitudes do not always mean bad. Because teenagers are developing their own private space. But these attitudes may indicate a relationship wall between you and your teen. You can feel the wall, but you don't realize what the wall is.
Q: What exactly is the wall?
A: One of the most destructive relationship walls is the wound in the child's heart.
This wound may have accumulated from childhood. But were never properly resolved.
This wound erodes children's trust in their parents. This wound destroys the child's sense of security towards his parents. This wound makes the child's attitude annoying, refusing. In fact, hurt yourself too. Until this wound gets your attention, it must be resolved.
Q: How to destroy the relationship wall caused by the wound in the child's heart?
- Start with humility
This step can be started by listening to the feelings, the voice of the child's heart towards us, listening without interruption and without self-defense. Even as parents, we can say, “Forgive me, I’ve hurt you in the past.” Apologies and attitudes that show remorse will erode the walls of the relationship.
- Rebuild the child’s sense of security
Relationship walls arise because of feelings of insecurity. When you listen to a child's inner voice, you show genuine remorse. When you show your words can be trusted, he can hold on to it and you are building a sense of security. When you provide a special time for activities with children, you are rebuilding a child's sense of security.
- Make room for negative responses to your efforts
When you are trying to rebuild a sense of security, you are very likely to face negative responses and rejection from children. Be proud because maybe the child still needs time. A time to forgive and a time to rebuild a close relationship with you.
Keep in mind that a small drop of water will destroy the hard rock. Drops of parental effort will bring goodness to the relationship between parents and their teens.