A Joyful Parenting by Mr. Rizal Badudu, M.Min
It is not just children who grow up. Parents do grow. Equipping and enriching parents in educating children, IPEKA Integrated held a Parenting Seminar on Saturday, October 17, 2020 themed A Joyful Parenting with Mr. Rizal Badudu, M.Min.
In the presentation of the seminar, Mr. Rizal delivered the Word of God in Philippians 4: 4 saying: Rejoice always in God! Once again I say: Rejoice! Rejoice always in God. It will feature three things in Joyful Parenting: Stress How It Happens, Joy in God, and Practical Tips for Always Rejoicing in God as a parent.
Let's take a look at his presentation together with Ibu Rina Badudu.
Stress and How It Happened
Learn about stress from the characters in the Bible, namely David, Paul, and Jesus. David and Paul had a hard time, he was "stuck" but they said that the source of the strength was from God.
Mr. Rizal conveyed that in a pandemic situation our stress level is definitely increasing. Stressful parents, stressful students, and also teachers, but this reminds us "that in order to be real we are only vessels of clay, if there is strength it is not from us but from God." An excerpt from John Piper’s book “Corona virus and Christ” says “What God is doing in the coronavirus is showing us — graphically, painfully — that nothing in this world gives the security and satisfaction that we find in the infinite greatness and worth of Jesus . ”
This quote reminds us that nothing in this world can provide security and satisfaction, as we can find in Jesus' infinite greatness. So if we keep hanging our sense of satisfaction on the child, on the business, on our career, then we will never get joy.
Joy in God
How can we continue to rejoice that is by:
- Throwing away our worries! express to God our fears and desires, express directly to God in prayer and supplication to Him. We can tell God to help the child in learning, help the child in choosing college, and so on but the conditions are stated with gratitude. Tell God that we are thankful that our children want to learn and that God will help them. As we continue to express then our fears will be lifted up by God, we will find peace, which transcends all our senses, nourishes our hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.
Mr. Rizal Badudu gave an example of how to hand over all worries. "As parents we must experience many worries, leave it to God, leave it to God later who will replace it with peace and prosperity. The more we turn our hearts to God, the more we will have a personal relationship with God, and the more we will be able to deal with that stress more quickly. So parents need to eat more of God's Word, learn from books, and we will better understand what God wants for our children.”
- Praise God and pray until God helps, until miracles happen. Simply say anything and pray to God.
At the time of the pandemic, we had to deal with children. We need to continue this approach, praising God and praying until God helps, so that we see God will open the doors for us.
He then delivered a quote "Christian joy is a good feeling in the soul, produced by the Holy Spirit, as he causes us to see the beauty of Christ in the Word and in the world." - John Piper
“Peace that transcends all senses. So if we surrender all our feelings to the holy spirit, it will make us able to see the beauty of Christ in the word of God, and in everyday life. We want to wear the joy that comes from God. Our emotions are determined by spiritual sensations, not by our bodies. If we do that then we will get solid joy. "
Practical tips to follow God's command, to always rejoice in Him
- Full Acceptance.
Taken from Psalm 62: 5 My soul, put all your faith in God; for from him comes my hope. we can have expectations but give it all and leave it to God. In everyday life really accept our situation, when we accept it then there will be many things that become joy.
Ms. Rina exemplified: If the atmosphere in the house starts to heat up, we have to work from home, the children learn from home, then we have to accept the situation is not ideal. Then we ask God for help and do the things we can do so that it can be passed well.
Full Acceptance is also done for our children. We must first accept the nature of his personality, his academic ability, or his non-academic ability. We must accept everything first. because all that God gave. If we accept we will be calm, and ask God what we should do.
- Efficient, Effective, Productive
These three things are not achieved directly. This balance is something to be found. Children in the process of mastering will also experience and go through the process Efficient, Effective, Productive. When we understand this, we will be closer to our children.
- Human Be-ing Vs Human Do-ing:
To be able to manage stress, to enjoy the moment to be a human being, than to think we have to do this, children have to be, we better do everything by prioritizing relationships, how should we relate to children, build and maintain the relationship.
For example: managing our excessive expectations. We must realize that our child is good at a / b / c, but also has weaknesses in certain things. Excessive expectations would not make us happy.
- Adequate margin:
Book margin for example with the right margin and space thick book will not tire of us reading. This margin we translate as our schedule, how our daily schedule, there is a balanced schedule between us and our children. When to work, when to relax, when to rest. We have to regulate how good margins are.
Examples of lessons: Parents tend to want great children in English, music, art, and so on, so there are children who take too many lessons in 1 day. This makes the child's path thinner. And the smaller our margin, the more unhappy we become. Playing is important, we can work on a fairly relaxed margin or have more family time together so we can instill values.
- Get to Know Yourself
We need to get to know each other's “hot button”, as well as the children's hot button. If the hot button is touched more often it will cause stress and the relationship can be strained. If we understand our children's hot buttons, we can help them and avoid them from stress, and we can have fun together.
In closing Mr. Rizal quotes from John Piper "God Is Most Glorified in Us When We Are Most Satisfied in Him." God is most exalted not because of our achievements as parents or achievements as children, but when we are truly satisfied in God in any situation. It helps us to rejoice in God.
We are hoping that through a seminar fromMr. Rizal Badudu, can further strengthen parents in educating children and continue to rejoice in God.